Peace Out?

Lately I've been thinking about peace. I've been feeling a lack of peace in my life lately. I guess the relentless onslaught of papers and reading assignments and the constant feeling I'm not doing enough-- whatever "enough" is-- have been getting to me. 
In frustration, during the group prayer at my campus ministry worship service, I prayed, "God, give us the peace of Christ, in our hearts and among us." I might have sounded calm, but on the inside I was really challenging God, demanding he give us peace. 
God, make me patient right now! God, I want peace right now! God, give me a Spark Notes spirituality, a whack-em-on-the-counter biscuit bread of life. 
Thanks be to God, who does not give me everything I want. 
Listening to the Truman orchestra play, I felt God's presence in a way I had not felt for a long time. We did not need many words, mostly just my attention. One of the songs was called "Pas de deux," which I thought looked kind of like "Peace of God," although apparently it's some special ballet term. Whatever. My poor French led me to think, together with the Holy Spirit, about what God's peace is as I sat and listened.
And in the music I felt the ebb and flow, the movement, quick terms, devastating falls and heavenly heights... That is where the peace of Christ is.
In the gospel of John, Jesus promises to give his peace to his disciples. When I have felt overwhelmed, depressed, alienated from God, or simply stressed by the stresses of life, I've thrown this promise sarcastically back at God. You promised me peace, didn't you? Then why am I feeling this way? The prayer after worship on Thursday was one of those times. 
Tonight, in God's presence in the performing arts hall, God reminded me Jesus said those words before he was to betrayed and led to the cross. The peace of Jesus, then, is anything but naive and easy. 
It is, I think, the trust to live in the anguish, depression, stress, conflict, whatever that God calls us to. And in that trust, to believe that we can do everything through Christ who strengthens us. That Jesus died to forgive our sin, and the Holy Spirit is bringing good through the bad situations. That we are never alone, never forsaken, will never die. And that God is closer that our own racing hearts. 
That is the peace of Christ.
We are not called to peace out, to naively check out of life and in the name of peace pretend problems do not exist. Instead, we are called to face them, to perhaps suffer with our long-suffering God, with hearts that trust. If we pray for that kind of peace, our prayer is always answered. And that's not my promise, it's Jesus' promise.